So… You might be asking “Why would anyone willingly put themselves through this level of agonizingly bad… everything?” and that is a good question.
The simplest answer is “As a public service.” That’s right, this blog is entirely an altruistic endeavour and by no means merely a load of fun. To that end we will employ the use of a Cringe-o-Meter.
The purpose of the Cringe-o-Meter is to assist you, our adoring fans (and groupies… we get those too right?) to understand what you would be getting yourself into should you wish to be brave and watch some of the movies we discuss on this blog.
The Cringe-o-Meter will consist of five possible ratings (similar to giving one to five stars though without the dignity, logic or accolades stars provide).
Ratings will be as follows:
“So Bad It’s Good”
This is similar to five stars except in this case it means that, whether by the level of bad acting and effects (we’re not assuming too much from these movies as far as coherent plots go) or due to the self-awareness of the films that they are in fact bad movies and revel in said “badness” they transcend their natures and become gems and highly entertaining while nonetheless remaining bad.
This will be awarded to movies that are not quite “So Bad It’s Good” yet but that nonetheless blow our minds with their near epic levels of awesome “badness”.
“Not Drunk Enough!”
This is the middle ground for movies that find their way onto this blog. While we ourselves are quite sober when watching these films, films that garner this rating are the ones that are neither eyeball-gougingly or brain-scrubbingly bad but they are also not gems of enjoyable film making. Just the right amount of alcohol might be able to make these movies better or possibly make some sense but we are not going to test that theory. Feel free to let us know if you do test it though.
“No Amount Of Drugs…”
Now you would think that this would be the worst rating a movie could recieve but it’s not. This is given for those movies that there is no hope for them to ever be watchable or good no matter what or how much illicit mind altering substances you may be on. These are the movies that we are sure the producers, writers, actors and in fact the entire cast and crew must have been on seriously bad and hazardously high amounts of drugs to ever have made this movie a reality.
“Even WE Regret This!”
We’re a “Bad Movie Club”. We go out of our way to find terrible movies. These are the movies that are so bad they have no real redeeming feature and while we might actively encourage people to watch some of the other movies we cover on this blog, these movies are the ones we will vehemently DIScourage people from watching for their own sanity and out of respect for the medium of film making. These are so bad that they are best left forgotten for the dignity of movie making. Much like a particularly bad and hardcore porn movie made by a Hollywood A-list sweetheart when she was young and starry-eyed and didn’t know what was what. Even WE wish we could forget that these movies exist.
So… There you have it. Our “rating system” for the Attack of the Killer B(movies) of Doom Blog.
Enjoy and remember… we’re doing this for you. Heed our warnings!